So today as we hurtle into the Christmas season, I’d like to address that too often adopted behaviour “Saving the best till last” or "Only for Special Occasions".
Ok, so I get it for an event, a film premier, a theme park ride or some kind of wonderful wild experience, but on a daily living basis, this shouldn’t really apply.
Let’s think of all the things we do on a daily basis, we get up in the morning, some of us wash (that would be me) some don’t, I’m not judging. We might exercise (I don’t, most times I can’t be arsed) judge me, don’t judge me, I don't mind. We get dressed for the day, then we might pop on a face or a bit of lippy and mascara, we might not, we might think it's too flashy, it's not, it can make you feel good. You make breakfast (another thing I actually don’t do, the minute I eat in the morning, I absolutely know that I’m going to need brunch, midday snacks, lunch, more snacks, dinner, dessert and then supper (what is supper anyway?) I still need it! Anyway I digress, back to my point. We drag the kids up or get our butts off to work, then we work until we can finally have a break, stuff something solid and hopefully nutritious in our mouths, then back to work, we then finally finish, if you’re lucky enough to have a life, you might pop to a bar with some colleagues or go on a date or even a spot of shopping, or you might just dash to the shops on your way home, get something from the supermarket to cook on your return, get back cook, feed the animals, some parents call them children, wash them, put them to bed, tidy up and then relax, watch a film, fall asleep. I’m tired just from writing this, much less living it.
So where did you have the time to save the best for last, was it the relaxing bit, catching up on your favourite shows and falling asleep? What if the kids don’t go down at the time you wished, what if you had to take that call from your mum that you knew would take ages and you also knew she didn’t have much to say but she knows how to keep you on the phone, what if you had to finish that presentation before tomorrow’s meeting, what if what if, what if. That was the best was it?
So I don’t really work on what if’s as they’re debilitating and a lot of my own personal what if’s have never happened and if I lived by them, I’d constantly be in a state of anxiety, gripped by fear and never do anything, but truly, life does throw us curveballs, so in my day to day life, I incorporate The Best into every moment I can. Saving the best for last can mean it potentially never happening.
So in the morning, I wake up and think of 3 things in my day, I’m looking forwards to doing, sometimes there’s nothing great, but to be fair, there’s always something that’s better than laundry. I then think of 3 things I’m grateful for, one of them could be that I have no laundry left to do. I purposefully smile at each thought, this changes our brain chemistry, thinking and feeling the good thoughts trains your brain to start looking for the positive rather than what we normally unconsciously train our brain for and what our brains search for naturally. This takes about 2 minutes at the very most.
I then have a shower and imagine that every drop of water is cleansing my mind, body and spirit of all of yesterday’s bullcrap, it no longer serves me, so I watch it drain away. Most importantly, I only use the good bath products, the best ones my money or someone else’s can buy, you know the special expensive ones that were given to you at Christmas and Birthdays that you only use on those special occasions, let’s be honest, when those special occasions happen, we often forget to use them and they have a shelf life so by the time you’ve remembered you got it, you open it up and it smells disgusting. I had so many beautiful perfumes bought for me out of kindness and I saved them for special occasions and when I used them they smelt like alcohol, I could have just got ridiculously drunk and gone out, I’d have smelt the same and would have at least had a story to tell (or not as is often the case of me getting drunk and forgetting all of the terrible things I get up to that seem to be a great idea at the time). This is when I promised myself that every day would be a special occasion.
Once using these luxurious products, I feel special, the room smells lovely and I’m feeling at my best, uplifted by the beautiful fragrances and the softness of my skin. I then use the special body creams and lotions and as I rub it into my skin, I imagine I’m moisturising love into my body, even if I’m slathering it on in a rush. Body covered in love that will continue to moisturise and seep into my skin throughout the day. That’s pampering done.
Next is getting dressed, now I don’t save my best outfit for special occasions, every day is a special occasion, I'm alive for god sake (literally) so I find something that makes me feel wonderful. Everything in my wardrobe makes me feel wonderful, I don’t buy clothes that don’t, so I never run out of beautiful things to adorn my yummy-smelling body with. Ok, I don’t wear a ballgown on the school run, only because it would be a bit uncomfortable, I might wear that for a themed Pleasure Party or an Awards ceremony, but I will wear a floor-length gown, I will wear a sequinned dinner jacket, I’ll wear whatever makes me feel fabulous and comfortable on the school run, even if it’s a pair of soft comfy leggings and a nicely tapered top, I’ll always accessorise with something beautiful like crystal or silver jewelry and some freaking hot shoes or boots.
Even if it’s only a bit of lippy and mascara, I always make the effort, because it only takes under a minute to add that to your face and then you’re done. No one is saying you’re not perfect when you’re fresh-faced with no make-up, we are all freaking fabulous without it, but adding that little bit of colour to the portal of your authentic voice and accentuating the windows to your soul can make you feel just that little bit more awake and gorgeous.
I leave the house in the same time it would have taken me if I didn’t make any effort and just rolled out of bed, got washed, cleaned my face and got dressed, but in all these activities, I added the best, I added a bit of pleasure and glamour and it makes me feel wonderful.
Then the school run, this is my very own personal disco, I have the most amazing, curated playlists that lift my spirits on the way back home, Oh my god, the way I feel after dropping the kids off to be looked after by some other poor consenting adults is my best time of the day. I always spend 1 whole minute in silence after they’ve exited the car. Bliss. Party in the car on the way back and then it’s time to work.
I already look fabulous, I smell great, I’m ready for the zooms and if I need to pop out for a meeting, I’m already ready.
With work, I don’t save the best for last, I put my best in everything I do, and I do it with intention to be the best that I can be and produce the results that will create the best outcome for my clients, personally I connect to what my clients want and how good they want to feel and then I embody that feeling a create their plans.
Lunch is amazing as whatever I eat, I eat with intention, my intention is that I’m really going to enjoy every bite and it’s also going to give me all of the pleasure and none of the nasties and then I savour all the flavours, I chew slowly and purposefully really making a meal out of my food. When we eat slower, not only do we get to enjoy the flavours more, we also get fuller quicker, which could save on buying extras at lunchtime and also stops you from just filling your mouth with crap and over eating. Win Win.
Pick up the little freaks after listening to another uplifting playlist, already feeling calm and happy, then they get in the car, argue all the way home, whilst I reflect on just how many wonderful things I’ve already done to protect my peace and keep my energy and vibration high.
Back home, I cook their dinner, get them prepared for homework and bed and this is where us adults normally look forwards to "saving the best till last", but this is normally where it can go a bit awol. But because I’ve already added so much pleasure to my day I don’t feel annoyed or frustrated if I don’t get to do what I had planned for my evening.
My best lasted all day.
So tomorrow, I invite you to think about 3 things you’re excited about doing, then 3 things you’re grateful for and smile about them, don’t forget to smile. Use your best body products because your body deserves the best, moisturise creamy love into your skin, dress up in something fantastic, you’ll be surprised at all the lovely compliments you get, and if you don’t think you have something fantastic, accessorise and wear whatever you’re wearing with confidence, remember, the outfit doesn’t wear you, you wear the outfit. Put your favourite playlist or podcast on (Try A Fendi Bag Full of Fucks! Not for kids ears) as you go to work or on your way back, enjoy a minute or more of silence all for yourself and when you eat anything, really get the most out of every bite, activate all of your senses and allow all the flavours and sensations to delight your tastebuds. Squeeze the pleasure out of every moment and if you get the chance to live your day like this you’ve made the best last. Because every day should be a special occasion.
Whatever today brings, sprinkle it with a little bit of pleasure!