This is something I personally struggle with, overthinking and overcaring, it's exhausting. Caring so deeply, being empathetic, being an empath is draining, it’s a beautiful heart-connected trait, however it can keep you stuck in paralysis because you’re thinking so much of how to solve an issue that you can’t see a way out, the overthinking then pulls you into a feeling of hopelessness and all of the old patterns of thinking that you felt you had overcome or were at least working on successfully, flood back into your being. That you’re not good enough, that you’ve never been able to make things right or make a solid decision, you deserve to feel this negative way about yourself, you’re not worthy or whatever outcome it is that you desire, it's just not for you. You can’t fix it.
I write about this as this is how I was feeling this morning, the overthinking cycle doesn’t stop there because what comes next is all of the emotions that are connected to the negative thought process of what and where you feel you are, and the tears stream down your face, then you feel angry at yourself for being so pitiful. You try to gulp them down, to stop the pity party and you digest the sadness, the hopelessness and stuff it like an undigested meal into your system. And you feel like shit because you’ve just basically eaten a five-course meal of bullshit. Taste like crap doesn’t it.
So how do you move past this, when you are feeling so hopeless and low. It may not be what you think. Emotions present themselves because they need to be addressed, they need to be felt fully to be heard, seen and eventually dealt with.
So when these feelings come up, I encourage you to have a cry, I know, it feels like if you cry about it, you’ll never stop, but I can assure you, you will.
Emotions need to be felt to pass through, if we bottle them up, they stay in the body stagnant and rot like a pile of rubbish in our bodies, becoming stinky and permeating everything that we say and do. So, with a good cry, you’re effectively expelling, rinsing and squeezing the shit out of your system.
Have you ever cried until you couldn’t remember what you were crying about anymore? If yes, what did you do next? And if no, then you’ve never had a good enough cry.
I’ll let you know what works for me and worked for me this morning, there’s me, head in hands lamenting that at 46 years old, I’m still allowing these thoughts to control me and hating myself for it, hating that my eyes are shedding buckets of tears and I’m feeling mad sorry for myself. Angry that I’ve sat in someone else’s projection and rather than acknowledging that it’s their insecurities that they have vomited all over me, I took it personally.
Now normally as I’m so practiced, and it is a practice, just remembering this point alone gets me back to balance and I feel into the power and pleasure of compassion for that persons feelings regardless of how misdirected I personally feel they are, but today as this person is so very close and important to me, I ate the whole plate of vomit.
So today I cried, I cried and cried and I allowed my head to overthink until it felt like it was going to explode, when my head was so foggy with trash, I then allowed myself to feel the emotions associated with the overthinking, the feelings of worthlessness, anger, sadness, pity and let them run riot through me, after a long pity party I could feel gradually that the emotions were dissipating, I needed that cry. Sometimes this shift happens when your inner self gets up and say’s “Ok now bitch, that’s enough!” but it could also be that you just don’t feel it anymore. Rather than getting up and going about my business, I then chose to hold myself in love and speak to my overthinking brain which was too tired to resist, words that soothed it, it didn’t have to believe them but the more that you speak loving kindness to yourself the more that your brain receives and adopts them.
So I told myself that “I am worthy and deserving of my desire” I will continue to live from a space of love and compassion because that feels good to me” “I am loved, I am loving and I am love” and then I finished it off with “I love you Simone” Now I did repeat these to myself for at least a good 5 minutes, one at a time. I held my head in my hands and spoke directly to my head.
By the time I had finished I remembered who the fuck I was, I also saw the person who’s words I took as my own for the person they are too, a wonderful, beautiful, loving, fragile human being, like all of us.
None of us are perfect and being a human is a difficult experience to navigate, what with all our limbs, functions, emotions, responsibilities and the lark, it’s a real head fuck. However we are all trying to navigate our path in this world and the majority of us don’t wish harm on another. We get upset and we don’t know how to deal with it, so we lash out and sometimes that's at the wrong people or the people that love us the most
One of the keys to not overthinking, is to not take things personally. When someone is saying shitty things to you, it’s normally a reflection of how they are feeling, some of it may be true, some of what was said was true for me, I’m indeed not a perfect candidate of perfection and purity, but if you can see where and if you are responsible for their projection that always helps, because the rest belongs to them. You can only fix what you are truly responsible for.
Right, that’s me for the day. I’ll be sending you love, but today, I invite you to send yourself some too.
Let the emotions be experienced fully through you, because when we numb our negative emotions, you’ll find that your positive emotions get numbed too and you can never really fully feel joy, happiness, desire, excitement and all those delicious goodies. It was once described to me as a shot of novocaine at the dentists, it’s not just the area of the tooth being worked on that gets numb, it's everything around it, so truly fully feel it all. Emotions last longer because we bottle them up, instead, shake them up like a can of fizzy pop and let them explode, the fizz will dissipate and you’ll come back to balance.
Wishing you all a day filled with Pleasure x